The Track Changed, and I Didn’t Even Notice: A Personal Journey Through Burnout and Rebuilding
Navigating Burnout, Recovery and Rebuilding
TL;DR: Despite a life that looked full and successful on the outside, burnout snuck up on me. I dismissed the early signs—persistent fatigue, declining health, lack of motivation—until I couldn’t anymore. Eventually, I accepted that I was burned out, and I made the decision to pause and reset. Since then, I’ve been rebuilding with intention. Joy and clarity have slowly returned. I’m sharing this not because I have all the answers, but because burnout is more common than we admit—and talking about it is part of the way forward.
Note: I didn’t write this as a polished essay or a thought leadership piece. I wrote it because I knew what I was experiencing, and I kept hearing of it everywhere I went. If you’re in that space, or even brushing up against it, I hope this offers some reassurance. That’s the only reason I’m sharing it.
I had planned to write about something I’ve been studying, but instead, I found myself writing about something much more personal:
Burnout.
This word is everywhere.
Before the pandemic, around 45% of people reported experiencing some degree of burnout. Now? That number has jumped to 77%! It's affecting everyone—healthcare workers, parents, doctors, service folks, and yes, us lovely tech workers too. What's striking is that burnout isn't even recognized as an official mental health condition, yet here we all are, struggling with it.
Burnout sneaks up on you. It doesn’t hit you with the same weight as depression or the fear from anxiety. It's quieter, more insidious. At its core, burnout happens when there's a misalignment in values—when how you're spending your time and energy doesn't match what actually matters to you.
My Burnout Story
What led to my burnout? It wasn't just one thing. I'll spare you the gory details, but in a nutshell, it was a series of life decisions and circumstances that led me to where I was a few months ago, forcing me to confront the truth: I was burned out.
On paper, everything looked great. I learned, had a career I chose, traveled, lived in the city of my dreams, and had a strong support system. But underneath all that, I felt deeply unhappy and tired in a way I couldn't shake, and it kept getting worse.
Life doesn't pause just because you're tired. You still need to pay bills. Families need care. Savings need to grow. Most people don't even realize they're burned out—and even if they do, they often can't take a break. You just keep going.
There were days when even 30 minutes of work completely wiped me out, but I pushed through because I had to show up. As this unhappiness grew, my body started sending up flares—gut issues, skin flare-ups, migraines—but every health test came back normal. "Just stress," they said. But I kept wondering, "How? My life is good. What do I have to be stressed about?"
The signs were everywhere. I would freeze anytime I opened my laptop. I couldn't look at LinkedIn or Instagram because seeing everyone's updates overwhelmed me. No amount of reframing helped. The cynicism and exhaustion were persistent. I used to know what I was working towards, but somehow the track I was running on changed, and I didn't even notice when it happened.
When I confided in a friend about this more than a year ago, she said, "Aps, you sound burned out." It hadn't even occurred to me that this was what burnout was. But I didn't accept it then. As usual, I pushed through. Several months later, I finally accepted it and decided I needed to make a change. I forced myself to slow down and eventually chose to walk away from the life I had built to reset and start over.
Finding My Way Back
Joy had eluded me for a long time. But once I stepped off that old track, it started showing up again—first in small glimmers, then more consistently. I’m on a new path now. I don’t know where it leads, and for the first time in a long time, I’m okay with that.
Since I began this journey, my health has improved drastically. My sleep is consistent. My stomach has settled. And maybe most exciting of all, my creative energy is back. I find myself entering flow state more often, whether reading, learning something new, or even just writing this.
Why I'm Sharing This
I'm terrified to post this. There are potential professional risks. However, I'm choosing to share because burnout comes up constantly. At conferences, 1:1s, social gatherings, and even at the gym. I used to think it was just a case of confirmation bias. But when it starts appearing in conversations you weren't expecting, you know it's real.
During a peer circle with other PMs, we each had to share a personal challenge we'd faced that year. I shared my burnout journey. Every single person on that call said they were feeling some degree of it as well, but had to keep going because they had no other choice.
That moment hit me hard. If we're all feeling this way and still pretending everything is fine, then no wonder burnout feels like a personal failing rather than a systemic issue.
The Path Forward
I’m not entirely out of the burnout woods, but I know I am getting there. I have a good support system that has kept me grounded and reminded me that I don’t need to rush. In a moment of madness, I even created a ChatGPT task that sends me a daily reminder (I found this particular quote in a book), and that simple message has been helping more than I expected.
If you’re feeling burned out, please get the help you need. Whether it’s therapy, taking a break, scaling back at work, or even telling someone close to you, “Hey, something’s not okay”—please, don’t go it alone.
One reframe that helped me: I stopped thinking about life and career in years or decades. I started thinking in months. I have hundreds of months left. That shift took the pressure off. It reminded me there's no rush to reach some goalpost or complete a race just because that's how you should do things.
Burnout may have led me to uproot my life and start over, but it also gave me clarity. I’m now channeling my energy into coaching, supporting startups, and rebuilding a life aligned with how I want to live—I’m rebuilding on purpose.
I won't recommend what to do if you're feeling burned out. I've chosen my flavor of recovery, and it is working for me. More importantly, I do not have the credentials to recommend what you should do. Certain life privileges allow me to take a break like this and step back. I ran the numbers and made trade-offs, analyzed every option, spoke to people who did what I have now, and finally made a decision. A conscious one.
I’ll share a few resources that helped me along the way. But for now, I’ll leave you with the wise words of ChatGPT that have been getting me through my days:
Resources:
Powered by Me: From Burned Out to Fully Charged at Work and in Life
Podcasts:
Avoiding burnout for high achievers - The Skip podcast
Let’s talk about… Burnout